Naruto: Kung Fu Panda
by KasaraUchiha
Summary: Naruto is a dreamer, who wishes to learn Kung Fu' while dutifully working at his father's ramen shop. When fates collide, and luck is on his side, Naruto turns into the Dragon Warrior. But this noodle loving teen has a lot to learn. As evil approaches, he needs to overcome stigma and the hate of his fellow teammates to manage to save the Valley Of Leaf.
1. It All Starts With A Dream

1

"_Legends tell of a legendary warrior, whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend. He travelled the land, in search of worthy foes…"_

_The blonde-haired blue-eyed very exceptionally super awesome warrior entered a ramen shop one day. And per usual, ordered a bowl of ramen for free. _

_A band of warriors, some with ram horns and others with wolf ears, lunge over the warrior's table while he eats. They all grin, maliciously…_

"_I see you like to chew...maybe you should chew...on my fist!"_

_The head ram slams his fist into the table and shakes the warrior's food. The man said nothing...for his mouth was full. Then he swallowed. Then he spoke. _

"_Enough talk, dattebayo! Let's fight!" _

_He was so deadly, and his fighting style so superb, his foes were blinded by pure awesomeness! _

_It mattered not how many foes he faced, they were no match for his bodacity! _

_After he was finished the battle. He dramatically walked into the sunset...never before had a man-panda been so feared, and so loved…_

_Even the most heroic heroes in all of China, the furious five, bowed in respect to this great master. They greet him, one says- "We should hang out sometime" The handsome warrior responds. "Agreed" _

_But hanging out would have to wait...because when you're facing the thousand demons of demon mountain. There is only one thing that matters. And that's!_

"Naruto?"

_Huh?_

"Wake up, you'll be late for work."

I snap back to reality. My small, white and black fuzzy ears and tail twitch and I try to roll over to shut off my alarm, which is blaring obnoxiously in my ear. Instead of successfully shutting off the alarm, I fall face-first onto the floor and curse.

"A dream huh?" I sigh in disappointment. Iruka calls from the kitchen, "What are you doing up their Naruto? The shop is about to open!" I yell back. "I'm coming!" I stand up on my feet and glance around my room. I have comic posters and other colourful memorabilia sprawled atop my desks and shelves. At my window, across my bed to the right I have my Furious Five action figures posed in dramatic positions. I jump forward, still fueled by the adrenaline from my dream.

"Monkey!" I pose like master monkey does and perk my brows. "Mantisss" I curl my fingers and swipe them through the air. "Viper!" I do a wave motion with my body and try to look seductive. "Crane!" I raise my arms in the air like they are the wings on his back. Now my favorite. "Tigress, rawr!-" I lean over and go to make a deep growl at my tigress figure when a woman across the street looks up at me from the alley. She is holding a box of potatoes and just rolls her eyes. Awkwardly, I retreat back into my bedroom and get dressed.

I put on my brown pants and orange t-shirt, with light brown flats and tuck my hair out of my face with a red headband. I whip my door open and make my way downstairs. I jump off the last step dramatically and smile and Iruka. He is busy cutting up some radish's and the white feathers around his ears and arms complement the light brown of his hair. Underneath his apron is a small set of tail feathers and they poke out under his black shirt. Iruka turns and smiles.

"About time Naruto, come on, you have work to do!" I try to hide the fact that I am still thinking about my dream, but it's to no avail. "What is it Naruto? You seem distracted, like usual." He jabs and I walk over to the prep table and retrieve my own apron. "I got a question for you dad..a, hypothetical question." Iruka quirks a brow. "Shoot." I clear my throat.

"Have you...always wanted to work at a ramen shop?"

Iruka smiles. "Well, a long time ago, back when my father and grandfather were running this shop. I wanted to turn away and become a ninja in a land far away." I smile ear to ear. I thought, perhaps Iruka wouldn't understand my hopes and dreams of a different career, a different life! Looks like I'm in luck.

"So why didn't you?" I ask eagerly while tightening the string around my hip. He shakes his head. "Because it was a stupid idea."

Boom. Hopes shattered. My smile falls flat and I go, "Oh…" I look off into the restaurant. On the wall, I can see a flyer with a familiar set of figures on the front...Iruka disrupts my thoughts. "I have something for you to do Naruto. Serve tables, five four six and seven." He gives me a tray and places the sets of freshly cooked ramen on them. I clearly look disappointed and head off to start my workday.

As I serve the customers, I begin to realize that the people are depleting. An hour passes, and Iruka comes out into the now empty restaurant.

"Where is everybody?" He says and exits through the large entryway onto the cobblestone street. A set of woman with sheep horns and sheep tails walk past giddy and excited. Dad gently asks them- "Ladies, where is everybody going?" At this point, I have walked out onto the road and my eyes trail up to the Jade Palace, glistening beautifully under the summer sun. The women respond.

"Haven't you heard?" Iruka shakes his head. "Master Kakashi and Master Sarutobi are deciding the dragon warrior!"

My heart leaps into my throat. I jump up in the air and stare at the three girls aghast. "The dragon warrior!" I repeat and look over at my father with eyes full of joy. Iruka simply glares up at the Jade Palace and shakes his head disappointed. "Guess we'll have to set up the trolley and sell ramen from the street. Come on Naruto, quick, this will be our only opportunity."

As the swarms of townsfolk walk up the stairs to the peak of the mountain to the Jade Palace. Iruka makes me set up the trolley and I struggle to come up with a reason to go up and enjoy the celebration. Finally, when I am ready to work and outside the restaurant, I look over at Iruka and say…"You know dad, maybe we would do better at the Jade Palace?" His eyes sparkle. "Yes, a great idea Naruto. Let's go!"

I stammer and place a hand on his arm. "Wait! Maybe, it would be best if you stayed here and kept an eye out for stray customers. We don't want to miss any opportunities for more money right?" He hastily agrees. I hate to say it, but I know just what to say to get what I want with Dad.

"I'm so proud of you Naruto." He ruffles my blonde hair and smiles wide. "Go on. Sell that ramen!"


	2. To Many Stairs For Me!

****I want to run up the stairs and reach the Jade Palace as fast as possible. But the gigantic ramen kart I'm lugging around keeps bumping against the steps and I'm losing breath faster than I can suck it in. A man and wife run past me. When the wife sees me struggling, she wags her puffy rabbit tail and her floppy ears perk.

"You better hurry young man, the ceremony is going to start any minute." Just as she finishes pitching her concerns, the husband grabs her hand and pulls her up the stairs. I groan in agony and look down below. The Jade Palace has over a thousand steps, scaling the face of the mountain. I look over at my ramen kart and glare at the plates and bowls threatening to spill onto the ground and crash into a million pieces.

It would mean the world to Iruka, if I sold ramen at the palace. It's all he wants for me is to take over the business, but in my heart, I know what I want. I need to follow my dreams!

I park the kart on the next set of stairs and begin to run as fast as my legs will let me. The air in my chest begins to falter and I wheeze and pant up the mountain. I'm roughly a hundred steps away from the front gate, which is a gleaming mass of gold and jade with double doors. Beyond I can see the last of the stragglers pulling into the event.

"No! Wait for me!" I shout, but the two ram horned security guards are to busy talking to guests and not paying attention. I'm covered in sweat, and my tan cheeks are flushed red. I swear I can even feel a small tear in my eye.

I jump off the final step just as the guards are closing the door- "Wait!" I attempt once more to grab their attention, but just as I am about to slide my way into the Jade Palace, the hulking double doors close tight.

"Aw come on!" I throw my arms in the air and pout. No, this will not be the end of me! I look around the building for another way in. While I do, I hear Master Kakashi shout above the crowd of roaring townsfolk.

"_Ladies and gentlemen! Prepare, to witness the greatest kung fu the world has ever seen!"_

I growl back at him- "I'm trying!"

I find a small window on the far left side of the cobblestone wall. My blue eyes alight with joy and I find a nearby crate to stand on.

Alright, I may not be in the Jade Palace. But viewing my heros, the furious five, through a window is better than nothing.

Now, the ceremony is in full view. Lanterns and lights dance along the walls. Banners stand tall and proud, while townsfolk hold ribbons painted red and rainbow. My jaw drops and I clench the inside of the window sill astounded. A large, flat area is in the center of the square and the crowds circle around it. Large wooden enemies and other combinations of training equipment line the empty space waiting to be attacked.

Standing erect upon a tall golden stand is Master Kakashi and Master Sarutobi.

Master Kakashi is a red panda. But strangely enough, his large round ears and tail are grey matching his wild silvery hair and dark attire. He's wearing a dark grey robe with gold trim and a black mask across the bottom half of his face, with white flats and small claws poke from his fingertips. His eyes are stern and dark, and across his left eye is a scar from the battle of Fallen Rocks.

My eyes trail to Master Hiruzen, Sarutobi. His hair is pure white and a sharp beard accompanies it. He has small birthmarks on his face and deep lines underneath his soft eyes from years of battle and age. A soft smile plays on his lips as he leans leaserly on his staff. He's wearing a dark red outfit with a green sash tied around his hip, which also wraps to his back and forms a small cape. Underneath his clothes, I can see spots of light green skin and wrinkles that give away his turtle ancestry.

Master Kakashi raises his hands, and the crowd falls silent.

"I present to you! The furious five!"

The drums erupt and I scream in excitement. From behind the two masters, my role models begin to appear one by one.

Master Lee, otherwise nicknamed 'monkey' jumps high and tumbles through the air. He lands with grace on both his feet and gives the crowd a big thumbs up. Lee has a long brown tail that falls past his feet and curls up to avoid being stepped on. He's wearing a pair of black pants with a high waisted golden band around his waist. Everybody awes at his constant decision not to wear a shirt and his only other form of attire is a green headband tightened around his black chopped hair. His huge, bushy brows seem to have a personality of their own and they wiggle a bit when the crowd goes wild.

Beside him stands Choji or rather the Master of Mantis style. He decided to, instead of jumping through the air, walk leisurely up to the crowd and smile. He has a small set of green antennae and a set of forward facing fangs. He has short messy brown hair and spiral patterns on his cheeks. He's the shortest of all the furious five, and uses it to his advantage in battle. I always admired the fact that his body weight didn't slow his down. For some mysterious reason, in battle he can drop hundreds of pounds and move at the speed of sound! Master Choji is wearing a light brown and green robe and green flats. He raises his arms to revel in the cheers of the crowd, and on his arms are retractable tibial spines.

The next to members of the furious five jump off the pavillion and land in unison.

Master Sakura, or 'Viper', has bright pink hair with sakura flower pins behind her ears. Her hair is also cut to her shoulders and she has beautiful green eyes with black slits. Her neck and arms are layered with sets of light green shiny scales that gleam in the sun. She wears a beautiful pink shirt with white lace and black bottoms and brown flats. She smiles ear to ear and bows.

Master Shikamaru, also known as 'Crane' has a set of large white wings on his back. They are strong, and the tips of his long feathers gently sweep the ground. He has brown hair in a ponytail and has a cool and calm composure. Shikamaru wears all white. His shirt is long and he can tuck his hands into the sleeves. His pants have a black sash and he nods at the crowd.

Last but not least...Master Tigress.

Directly behind Master Kakashi and Sarutobi, a figure blurs past them and jumps into the air. Tigress land with a heavy thud silencing the crowd.

Master Uchiha! I think i'm gunna pee...

She has medium long black hair with spikes in the back. Her eyes are pure black and she has a dark orange tail with black stripes. Her large ears are cat like and pointed, the color is pure black, with orange tips. She's wearing a black shirt with gold flower patterns and black pants. White and black wraps circle her wrists. Around her waist is a beautiful gold sash made from the finest material. She has retractable claws between her fingers and sharp teeth that flash my way. Her skin is pale and look fragile like porcelain, but behind that fair skin and beauty is the strength of the most powerful furious five member.

"Oh my god master tigress!" I jump up and down in excitement. They all strike a pose for the final set of cheers, and Shikamaru raises his wings and flaps them. The gust of wind hits me right in the face, and I fall on my butt. The window falls loose, and slams shut.

"No, I'm gunna miss the best part!" I'm in full panic mode. I look around desperately trying to find a new way in.

"_Warriors, prepare!"_

I find a small peaky hole in the front door, between where both sides have shut. I run up, and can just barely see the arena past the butts of other townsfolk. One of the members of the jade palace, rolls into the arena upon a gigantic dragon statue. The mouth of the dragon opens, and sparks fly from within. I smile- "The Thousand Tongues Of Fire!" Master Shikamaru stands to face his opponent, and his wings flash open and he flaps above the ground. I start to dance with excitement, but somebody blocks my view. "Hey! Get out of the way!" I cry, but it's too late.

The sound of fireworks parade through the air, and I have to step back and look up into the sky to see them flash and bang.

But I'm not going to give up yet. I'm so consumed with frustration, that I punch the door, possibly hoping I'm strong enough to break them open. Nope. I just bust my fingers instead…

I turn around and spot a piece of bamboo twice the size of me. I grab it, and charge at the gate trying to fling myself over it with the momentum. Instead, the staff breaks and I hit my head on the ground. After running around like a chicken with my head cut off, for a good twenty minutes, I collapse on the steps and stare off into the distance. Letting the sounds of the cheering townsfolk send me into a deep depression. Out of all the people who won't get the chance to see the Dragon Warrior, why did it have to be me? Why am I so damn unlucky!?

"_-and finally, Master Tigress!"_

A new hope sparks within me. My eyes go wide, and I stand up again.

"_Believe me citizens, you have not seen anything yet!"_

"Ya! I know!"

"_Master Tigress. Face Iron Ox, and his blades of death!" _

My eyes turn towards an abandoned fireworks kart, and a crazy idea hits me. I grab a chair from behind the stand, and begin to craft together a makeshift rocket ship. Nothing will stop me! But just as Tigress is about to face her opponent, I hear Master Sarutobi for the first time.

"_Stop! I sense...the Dragon Warrior is among us."_

Oh yes. It's going to be master Tigress. I drag my new chair to the front of the Jade Palace and sit in it like the mad man I am. Master Kakashi says- "_Citizens from the valley of leaf! Master Sarutobi, will now choose, the Dragon Warrior." _The drums kick into a steady beat, and I light the match that I grabbed from the stand…

Just as I am about to touch the flame to the wick of the fireworks, my father jumps from the stairs and looks at me disappointed.

"Naruto!?" Iruka runs to me. "What are you doing?" The drums get louder. I grind my teeth together and shake my head. "What does it look like I'm doing dad?" He tries to take the fireworks off my chair, and I have to stop him by putting my hand on his shoulder. "Dad! Stop, I'm going to see the Dragon Warrior!"

Dad looks appalled. "But I don't understand? I thought you wanted to cell ramen?" I look down at the ground. "I lied dad...I don't want to sell noodles." Iruka's jaw drops, and I light my fireworks.

"I love kung fu!" I look up at the sky, expecting to launch up into the clouds at any moment, but nothing happens. Dad and I awkwardly make eye contact and my chair tips over. I fall face first, and my nose twitches in disappointment and my small round fuzzy ears fall flat against my wild yellow hair. Iruka stares down at me, a soft expression behind his brown eyes.

"It'll be ok Naruto. Let's get back to work."

I sigh, and raise myself up onto my knees. "Ya..ok."

That's when it happens. Underneath my butt lights all fifty fireworks at the same time. I shoot into the wall and hit my nose with the impact of a thousand fists. Dad screams and tries to stop my travels but it is too late. My chair turns, and shoots me into the air. Much higher than anticipated. The wind batters my face and I think my lower half is on fire. All around me, the fireworks begin to explode and the tips of my hair catch on fire.

I stay for a moment, suspended. The chair I was in disintegrated, and my blue eyes trail down below to the crowd of townsfolk, who are staring up at me in the clouds confused as all heck.

That's when I fall, and everything goes black.


	3. I Crash Land

My eyes flutter open, and I fight away the darkness. Between the shades of black, I see a finger pointed at me.

"Huh?"

Master Sarutobi is looking down at me, smiling wide. All around me the world is silent. My jaw drops. "Are you...pointing at me? Why are you pointing at me?" That's when reality hits. I landed in the center of the Jade Palace. Smack in front of the furious five as Sarutobi was was choosing the Dragon Warrior. I look behind me and almost fainted again. Master Tigress is looking down at me with her sharp eyes glaring. The others are equally as confused.

Master Sarutobi looks at me, his eyes so kind and inviting.

"You." He whispers.

"Me?" I answer.

He turns towards the crowd and raises his staff. "The universe has brought us, the Dragon Warrior!" I jump up on my feet.

"What!?" Still on the pavillion, Master Kakashi's eyes go wide and he yells. "What!?" With a lot more vehement hate than I did. A large gong sound erupts through the arena and the crowd goes insane. Fireworks go off, and I look over at the Furious Five who have been forced to regain their composure. They put their hands together, and bow in respect to their masters decision. The only member of the team who can't completely hide their rage is Tigress. Her eyes don't leave my face and I have a feeling I'm in for way more than I bargained for.

"Master Sarutoi sir?" I try to voice my concerns, but before I can, a group of Jade Palace servant sweep me off my feet, and pull me onto a gleaming litter with four extended poles and sparkling gems. I sit awkwardly on the bed and try to look for my father. The Jade Palace doors had been swung open to announce the Dragon Warriors arrival, and my dad is standing in the center confused and torn. I want to tell him I'm sorry but it's too late. The servants began to carry me up to the peak of the mountain. As I pass Kakashi and Sarutobi, I notice that the Sensei has red cheeks and I dead set glare on Sarutobi.

"That panda boy is not the Dragon Warrior! He is not the answer to our problem. You were about to point at Tigress, when that _thing_ got in the way! That, was just an accident." Sarutobi smiles at his conflicted cohort. "There are no accidents."

I leave behind the crowds and travel to the peak of the mountain. The Main Hall takes away all my worries and replaces it with childhood wonder. "The Furious Five live in their" I swear, my eyes have turned to hearts. We pass through the beautiful sakura tree covered garden and the flat training grounds. They go up one final set of stairs and pull the door open. They turn the litter, and I sit still confused as all hell.

"Out." Once of the servants says on shaky legs. He's sweating profusely and a tinge of guilt hits my gut. "Sorry!" I jump out and let my feet land heavily on the hall floor. At the speed of sound, the servants run away and shut the door. Leaving me alone.

So, what exactly just happened? Am I really the dragon warrior? I look around and it only takes me another second to discover my whereabouts.

"The Sacred Hall of Warriors!" The gigantic hall is lined wall to wall with precious artifact and spoils of war. Completely blinded by excitement, I run over to the first artifact I see.

"The Hyuga Clan battle armor!" I jump excitedly and stare wide eyed at the silver mass of silver and white body armor, fitted for a female member of the clan. Tiger heads are embroidered on the fists.

"Ohoh oh! This is Master Tsunade's miracle elixir!" I jump over to a little bottle of pink substance on the next shelf. "Said to retain youth and beauty for years."

I round to the other side of the hall- "Oh boy, is that what I think it is? Master TenTen's scroll, of a Million Weopens" I hold up my hand and try to touch the scroll, but control myself. "I've only seen replicas of this…" Last but not least, I find the most rare of all the artifacts-

"The Tenju Warrior Jar!" It's a beautiful jar with two handles and an intricate tree design made of jade. "It's said to contain the entire Tenju army, whom were defeated by ancestor Hashirama Senju himself!"

"_Have you finished sightseeing?"_

"Sorry-" I stammer at the jar. "I guess I should have come to see you first." The souls are agitated.

"_My patience is wearing thin." _I lean back and quirk a brow. "Well, no offense Tenshu army but it's not like your going anywhere."

"_Would you turn around?"_ I do so and Master Kakashi is glaring at me. "Oh hi-" I look back over at the jar. "Now how do you fit thousands of warriors into a- Master KAKASHI!" I turn around at the speed of light and bump the jar with my elbow. It smashes against the ground and green wisp cascades through the air. Followed by an ominous whisper. I gulp and smile at Kakashi.

"Uh, somebody broke that?" Master Kakashi remains his composure. "Where are you from?" He cooly responds. I confidently reply. "Oh you know, I live with my dad down in town. We do lots of...kung fu stuff." I see Master Kakashi's eye twitch. His voice is steady.

"Naruto, that is your name correct?" I nod. "Yep."

"If you think being the Dragon Warrior is not for you, it's not too late to go home." He sounds like he's trying to pass like a caring individual. He walks up to me and leans over. "No shame in calling it quits." I shake my head.

"I'm not known for quitting, dattebayo!" Kakashi glares, his tone suddenly changing.

"And, what does that mean?" My face falls flat. "Erh, I don't know. I just say it sometimes when I'm pumped." Kakashi smiles under his mask.

"Really?" He leans away from me. "Well then. If your going to be the Dragon Warrior, and protect the valley. We'll need to get started. Obtaining the dragon scroll and learning it's secrets takes discipline, confident, and years of training."

I fix my headband. "Years huh? I mean, I've already got a bunch of years under my belt so I think just a few months should be good." Kakashi stares at me again.

"Let's get started. Follow me to the training hall."


	4. My Training Session Fails Miserably

We cross the garden and approach the training center. I can hear members of the furious five attacking unknown enemies and training. I gulp letting a small rush of nervousness overcome me.

Kakashi opens the door, and I am greeted by exactly what I expected.

Rocklee is hanging off the rafters, and jumping through gigantic spiked hoops with swirls and spins, his tail guides him and he happily does loopy loops and turns. Shikamaru is standing upon a large bowl made of jade. Arrows approach from all directions fired from small boxes on the wall. His opens his wings and glides around them easily, keeping his arms crossed and face flat. Choji is fighting against a small army of wooden training poles with arms and sharp ends. He's fast and is using his butterfly technique to stay small and skinny. He easily bolts around the training area at an unbelievable speed. Sakura is dancing and dodging spouts of fire, which are being shot up by metal pipes on the floor. She fights with grace and beauty and slides against the flames with a small smile on her face.

My eyes trail to Sasuke. She's facing twenty swinging chains carrying wooden blocks, with rotating spiked ends. Her moves are sharp, precise and powerful. I stare slack-jawed as she backflips away from an incoming chain with a hand behind her back. She crouches, jumps away from five more, lands on both feet, and palm strikes the base of an incoming projectile. The wooden object shatters into a hundred pieces due to her pure strength, and one of those chunks flies directly towards me and whacks me on the head.

"Ow!" I gasp and hold my head. Master Kakashi looks over at me. A smile, once again hidden under his face mask ok. "Let's begin." I whip my head towards him, as the Furious Five exit the indoor training ground.

"Yes Naruto. Now."

"Well, uh." I try to find an excuse. "I just ate a whole bowl of ramen Ya know? So my kung fu' skills might not be...up to snuff." Kakashi shakes his head. "Nonsense Naruto. We have to start somewhere." He moves to join the Five in spectating, and I follow while wringing my hands together nervously.

"Well, I might need to do some brushing up?"

"So where would you like to start?" Kakashi coos. I answer. "How about...zero? Level zero." Kakashi laughs a genuine chuckle.

"Naruto, there is no level zero."

I spot a large punching bag as tall as my chest, it looks like a full-blood panda with cute button eyes. I smile and point at it enthusiastically.

"How about that?" I run-up to it, and Kakashi sighs. "No, Naruto. We use that to train children, and to prop the door open when it's hot…" His voice trails off, and Kakashi decides to slide his hands into his robe pockets. "But, if you insist…"

The furious five come to stand next to Kakashi and I choke. This is the first time I've been able to interact with my heroes, and I'm over the moon.

"Yo yo-" I say while Choji returns to his normal form and pulls out a bag of potato chips. "You guys are the best, really you're so cool." Sakura is the only one to respond. "Why, thank you." Sasuke tilts her head up and examines me head to toe. Being this close to her, I can sense an aura of propriety and solidity. Despite all the training she just did, her dark eyes lined with black liner stay clean and unmarked. She notices me staring.

"You know kung fu?" Her voice is deep for a woman, and it throws me into a stammer. "Y- yeah. I dabble." Choji laughs. "You don't look like a kung fu master." He talks through a mouth full of potato. Shikamaru asks- "What are you wearing?" He tilts his head and I look down at my commoner clothes. Blush trickles into my face.

"Ah, I just use this to blend into the crowds. Cause I'm...ya know. So popular?" Sasuke cuts in again. "You seem to act like you know a lot about kung fu'"

"I sure do." I wave my hand in the air like it is no big deal. I'm starting to get defensive, I didn't think Master Tigress would be such a prude. Master Kakashi wants to cut us off, but Sasuke jabs in again. "Why don't you explain the origins of our Kung Fu?" Kakashi cuts off the pleasantries. "Tigress, we don't want to overwhelm our Dragon Warrior. Do we?" She smirks again with that same level of suave.

"No, but even a schoolchild could rehearse the origins of the Jade Palace and our Kung Fu'" Master Kakashi now likes where this is going. He turns to me and nods.

"Ok, Naruto. Quickly now."

Jokes on them. I've been a fan of kung fu all my life.

"The Jade Palace was formed by our ancestor, Hashirama. He, and the gods created six statues to represent the great original animal houses. Tigress, Monkey, Mantis, Crane, and Viper. But the sixth statue, the Dragon, had no family lineage. While the other houses drew and raised masters directly from their families and clans, the Dragon Warrior had to be handpicked by the Master of the Jade Palace themselves-"

Sasuke bites her tongue, and I can't help but continue. "-On the inside of each statue is a scroll, and unless the animal god has chosen you. The master can not learn the specifics of there Kung Fu' style or ancestry." Everybody but Sasuke is smiling. "That's why you guys are so cool! The gods..and goddess-" I point at Sasuke. "-totally chose you to be their personal butt-kicking warriors."

Kakashi quirks a brow. "If we are done with the history lesson. You can now punch. The. Bag."

He gestures to the bag. My eyes tentatively drag across the Five.

"Are they gonna stand here and watch?" Tigress responds before the others do. "Yes." She holds her frown. "Fine then." I stare back at her determined, not appreciating her condescending attitude. If she wants to mock me, I'm gonna hit this thing with all my might!

I rear back and slam the body bag with the crooks of my fist. It reels back taking a lot of damage, and I look over at the Five and Kakashi very proud of myself.

"See? I told you tha-"

The bag kicks up and topples towards me, smacking me with the same amount of force and flinging me into the training area. Sakura and Shikamaru try to grab me, but Kakashi stops them with a single gesture.

I smash and hurdle my way through all the same enemies that the five did. My face ends up bruised, my nuts smashed, and my hair on fire. I fly through the air and after my beating, I drag myself out of the arena gasping for breath. I swear, throughout my torment, I hear Kakashi say.

"This will be easier than I thought?"

What will be easier?

Anyway. I drag my dumb self towards them. One hand on my tendies and the other on the floor. Kakashi stares at a spot of hair on my head, which is smoking and still has embers lighting the air. He gently puts it out with his fingertips...

"Congratulations Naruto. There is now...a level zero."


End file.
